Confessions
by LivNel4ever
Summary: Elliot realizes his true feelings for Olivia, but will he ever be able to tell her?
1. Chapter 1three little words

Chapter 1 - Three little words

Elliot and Olivia were working a chilling case. A young girl was kidnapped the week before, the prime suspect, a pedophile who tormented women of all ages and races during the 1980's. He had spent the last 20 years at Riker's. He got paroled just 5 days ago for good behavior.

The SVU unit had been working themselves around the clock for the past 5 nights trying to track down any lead. Emotions were raised, tempers were flying. Olivia and Elliot were managing about 3 fights a day. They were both tired and emotionally drained. And then finally, there hard work paid off. They got a solid lead. A witness saw the suspect Grant O'Hara with a young girl enter a motel on 64th street.

The detectives were on it. When they arrived at the scene the little girl opened the door. O'Hara who was in the bathroom when they knocked panicked, and held a 45mm to the terrified girl's head.

"Calm Down. Just calm down," Olivia began, "You can still get out of this. Just let the girl go, and we can work something out." Olivia pleaded with O'Hara. Her eyes fixated on the perp. For she could not bear to look at the young girl. It was too heart breaking. She was dirty, scared and her clothes were ripped and had spots of dried up blood on them. She needed to focus. She would not be able to focus if she let her emotions get the best of her.

She felt Elliot's hand on her back. The small affection made her stay focused on the task at hand. The little gesture made her feel safe and secure. Her partner, her best friend had her back.

"You think I'm just going to hand the girl in and let you guys take me back to prison? I don't think so. You're going to have to come up with something better then that!" O'Hara barked at Olivia.

Elliot eyed the perp, then Olivia and then the girl. "What can we do to get you to give up the girl? We'll give you anything you want" He said.

O'Hara eyed Olivia up and down. When Elliot saw this he immediately felt his heart plummet to the floor. He wished he could take his last statement back, because he knew exactly what O'Hara was going to say he wanted. Olivia.

"Ok, I'll give up the girl. But in return you let me have this gorgeous, beautiful lady that stand before me." O'Hara said undressing Olivia with his eyes.

Elliot felt sick to his stomach. "No! Absolutely not."

"Elliot!" She said looking deeply into his eyes. "I have too." She whispered to him. She would do anything to save a victim, even if it meant she would become the victim herself.

Elliot began to panic. If anything happened to her it would be his fault. He put her in this situation. He would never be able to forgive himself.

"Let the girl go, and you can have me in her place." Olivia said in a very soft tone. She felt Elliot's hand slip around her back and on to her waist, and he squeezed very gently. She felt her heart beat up in to her throat.

"Liv, you don't have to do this." He whispered in her ear.

"You know I do Elliot." She said underneath her breath so that just Elliot could hear.

"Ok then. This is how it is going to go down," O'Hara began, "I'm going to give the girl to you," He said to Elliot, "Then you will take the girl outside, and forget about this one," He said walking over to Olivia, "I don't want to you see you back here, you got it? Or God even knows what I will do her." He said rubbing his gun up and down Olivia's body.

Elliot gazed into Olivia's honey brown eyes. Her eyes were strong, warm and reassuring. Elliot's weak spot for Olivia were her eyes, for sure. They were beautiful; they were the gateway to her soul.

"No. No deal. I'm not leaving Olivia alone with you." He said his rage erupting inside of him.

"Then you don't get the girl." O'Hara spat out.

"Elliot, I'll be fine. Go Elliot; bring the girl home to her family. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. Really El, go." She said looking him directly in his eyes.

He noticed something change in her eyes, something he rarely saw in Liv's eyes, fear.

He couldn't do it, he couldn't leave her alone. "No. Liv No. I'm not leaving you." He said holding a tight grip on her upper arm.

"Elliot, what is with you? Let me go Elliot." She said looking in the eyes of the little girl. She didn't understand why Elliot was fighting this. They needed to save the little girl. What was so hard for him? She wondered.

Elliot took a deep breath. He knew he had to leave her, and get the little girl to safety.

He was scared for Olivia, he didn't like the idea that Olivia would be alone, with out protection. This guy was vicious and very dangerous. He couldn't help the feeling that this would be the last time he would see Olivia alive and well. He needed to tell her.

"Liv," He turned her around so that they were looking in each other's eyes, "I'll come back for you, I'll always come back for you." He cupped her face and kissed her on the forehead. He chickened out. He couldn't get the three little words out. His eyes began to water.

Before Elliot could even pull himself together, O'Hara was pushing him and the girl out the door. He began to panic; O'Hara was strong literally pushing Elliot out the door. His heart began to pound faster and faster, all he could think about was Olivia being left alone with that psycho. Something came over him, he didn't know what it was, but it was stronger then anything he had ever felt before.

"LIV! I LOVE YOU!" He shouted as the door slammed in his face and he heard the deadbolts lock along with the laugh of a crazy person.


	2. Chapter 2The aftermath

Chapter 2- The aftermath

She heard him. He said it, heck he screamed it. Those three words she never thought he would be able to say, he just did. She felt her heart melt. But before she could even take those words in, she was forced to deal with the fact that she was trapped in a room with physco killer.

He grabbed her tightly and forced her onto the bed.

Meanwhile Elliot had brought the girl outside where she was on her way to the hospital to get checked out. The whole building was surrounded. Elliot spotted the Captain and quickly ran over to him.

"What's the plan Cap?" He asked trying to stay calm in front of his superior.

"We are still waiting for the Hostage Specialists to get down here. We can't do anything until they get here."

"What? That is horse shit! We can't just leave Olivia up there with him! There is no time Captain."

"I don't like it just as much as you, but rules are rules Elliot."

"Fuck the rules, I'm going back up." He said and started to make his way back the motel.

"Elliot! Wait! There are other things we have to consider!"

"Like what!"

"Like the fact that the Motel has not been cleared out yet. There could still be civilians in there! Now you will calm down and wait until we get instructions. That's an order!"

Elliot was furious. He couldn't just stand by while Olivia was stuck in there. He began to pace, his anger heated up with every passing second. Every second counted. He couldn't take it anymore. He ran through the crowd and back into the motel.

He broke down the door with one solid kick. His eyes instantly met her terrified ones. She was completely undressed and tied up to the bed. He had already beaten her as her face was covered in blood. He ran up to her and pulled the sheets over her naked body. He lifted her upper body up and held it close to him. He rubbed his fingers through her hair and whispered into her ear, "it will be ok, it's fine, I'm here Liv, everything is going to be ok."

O'Hara came jetting out of the bathroom.

"I thought I told you not to come back!" He screamed at Elliot. "Now she is going to pay for your mistake." He said very coldly. He held his gun up and pointed it at Elliot. Elliot who in return held up his weapon and pointed it at O'Hara.

O'Hara switched his target from Elliot to Olivia, "looks like we have ourselves a little predicament."

Elliot looked down at Olivia who was barely conscience lying in his lap.

She looked up at him and spoke very weakly, "El, You shouldn't have. Come. Back." she was barely able to get out.

With out another word the room was in complete silence except for the sound a gun being shot. It hit Elliot immediately and he fell to the floor. His gun fell into Olivia's lap and she grabbed it and shot it at O'Hara, but not before he was able to get off one more shot, this time hitting Olivia causing her world to go black immediately.

She fell to the ground on top of Elliot.

They were both lying there fighting for there lives. Elliot was losing consciousness fast, he took Olivia's hand and placed it in his and held it as tight, "I love you Olivia." He said before his world went black.

Eoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeo

Elliot was in and out of consciousness the whole ride to the hospital. He heard Munch's voice and knew that he was there with him.

"He and Olivia were both hit, you need to get to the hospital immediately, yes…ok see you soon Kathy." He heard John say.

"Liv…Liv…where is Liv?" He struggled to get out.

"Elliot we need you to calm down, Liv is in the bus in front of us." Munch said trying to calm his friend down. "I just called your wife; she is going to meet us at the hospital. We need you stay strong Elliot."

"Liv…Liv…" Was all Elliot was able to get out.

Elliot raised his hand and John placed it in his. Elliot pulled him down so that Johns face was close to Elliot's. "Liv, ok? Liv…Liv…Liv" He lost consciousness again.

John just bowed his head. He wanted to tell Elliot that Olivia would be fine, that everything was ok, but he couldn't. John put his hands to his head. He couldn't believe that two of his friends were seriously injured and might not make it though the night.

When they arrived at the hospital Olivia and Elliot were brought in right after each other. Kathy spotted John right away and knew that second stretcher must be Elliot. She ran over to it while the Doctors started poking and prodding him.

"Elliot! Elliot, it's me Kathy, can you hear me? Elliot?" She said grabbing his hand and clasping it tightly.

Elliot's eyes opened and looked directly into Kathy's eyes, "Liv…Liv…" I tear rolled down Elliot's cheek. Kathy wiped it away. Sure she was a little upset that he said Liv's name instead of hers, but she played it off as Elliot being concerned for his partner.

"Liv. I love you Olivia, I love you Liv." Elliot bellowed out just before he lost consciousness again.

"He's crashing!" The nurse screamed and whisked Elliot away.

Kathy just stood there, dumbfounded. She was in complete shock. Did Elliot just say that? Did he really just say that he loved Olivia?

John just starred at the floor. Wow. Was all that he could think. Elliot just confessed his love for Olivia with Kathy standing right there. He had to say something a quick.

"Kathy, um…he's completely out of it. He doesn't even know what is going on. They have him on so many drugs to stop the pain; I mean he thought _I _was Olivia in the bus!" He lied, hoping that would settle the mood.

"Right…um…I think I'm going to go get a cup of coffee." Kathy said and left.

Munch went to take a seat in the waiting room. He was greeted by the Cap and Fin. The Cap had ridden with Olivia on the way to the hospital.

"How is she Cap?" Munch asked.

The Captain looked up from the floor. He had tears in his eyes.

"Unresponsive." was all he said and he put his hands up to his face, and the tears managed there way out of his eyes.

With in seconds all three of them were crying. They couldn't lose her, they couldn't lose him. What would they do if they lost them both?

A nurse walked into the waiting room. They all stood up and wiped there drenched eyes.

"Detective Benson was just moved up to surgery. I'm not going to lie to you guys, it's bad. She took a single GSW to the chest. We won't know exactly how bad her injures are until we get a better look at them. We will let you know as soon as we find out. As for Detective Stabler, he too is up in surgery. His injuries are not as severe, he took a bullet to his upper shoulder, and he should be out of surgery with in a few hours. You'll probably be able to see him once he comes out." The nurse turned to walk away, but then turned back around and sighed, "You should call Detective Benson's next of kin." She said sadly and walked away.

"It's Elliot." John said out loud, not that everyone else didn't know that.


	3. Chapter 3how bad is it?

Chapter 3 –How bad is it?

Kathy stood in the line to get her coffee. The Cafeteria was filled with doctors and nurses. She was trying to keep herself together. She was in complete shock over what she had just heard. His words kept going through her head like bad song.

_'Liv. I love you Olivia, I love you Liv.'_

Did he really love her? Like, really love her...Like that? It was a battle inside her head. She pushed those thoughts out of her head, there was no way that Elliot loved her…and then she heard the EMT's talking in front of her…

"I swear we had to pry his hands out of hers. When the bullet hit the woman Detective she fell onto her partner, He had a hold on her, let me tell you! It took me and Jake both to get them separated." The one EMT was telling the other.

"I know! It broke my heart they way he kept saying he loved her. The whole ride all he did was call her name, Liv." The other EMT replied.

"As soon as we pulled her out of his embrace he couldn't stop saying he loved her. It is not often you find a love like that. I can't believe he went back into the Motel to save her. It's true love I tell you. Those two were meant to be together."

"I'm definitely going to pray that both of them make it out of this. A love so pure and true deserves to be long lasting."

Kathy nearly fell over. She was pissed. How dare these EMT's pass judgment on Elliot and Olivia, they didn't even know them!

Eoeoeoeoeoe

"Captain Cragen?" A nurse asked the people in the waiting room.

"Yeah that's me." The Cap said as they all stood up.

"Detective Stabler is in recovery. The surgery went well, but during it Detective Stabler fell into a coma. It happens in most patients that have this type of surgery, so the next 24 hours are going to be critical. The faster he wakes up the better."

"What about Detective Benson?" He asked not sure if he could handle the news.

The nurse took a deep breath. This is not good, the guys all thought.

"Well, she is still up in surgery. It is not looking good. She lost a lot of blood. Where you able to contact her next of kin?"

"Yeah." Was all the Captain was able to get out. He could feel the blood drain from his body. What would he do if they lost Olivia? He couldn't think of that right now. He had to stay positive.

"Can we see Detective Stabler?" John asked.

"Yes, but only for a few minutes. He needs his rest."

"Should we find Kathy?" Munch asked The Cap.

"Um…I'm sure the nurse will talk to her when she comes up from the cafeteria." Lord knows he didn't want to deal with Kathy's wrath of madness right now. The Cap knew Kathy's history. In all honesty he thought Kathy was a bitch. Not that he would ever tell Elliot that, but she was very controlling over Elliot, and he had witnessed too many fights to count about how she thought Elliot was cheating on her with Olivia.

The Cap wasn't stupid. He knew that Olivia and Elliot were in love with each other, he saw it every day, and he saw it since day one. They were a perfect match for each other. They were the ying and yang, the sun and the moon, stars and stripes. But as long as Elliot was married, and they were partners neither one of them would risk telling the other how they felt…well until tonight at least.

The Cap lost it. He broke down right there in the waiting room. The thought of Olivia never being able to hear those three little words from Elliot broke his heart. Olivia was like his daughter. He never got to tell her that. He was pulled into a bear hug from John. He cried on his shoulder until he was able to control himself.

"I'm sorry guys," He said as he wiped the tears from his eyes, "Let's go see Elliot."

The three of them walked into Elliot's room. He was still out of it. They crowded around him.

"Elliot Man, you gotta pull through for us. There is a beautiful woman that really needs your support right now El," Munch lost it. He cried. How was he going to tell Olivia's partner that she wasn't going to make it? How could he tell him that the love of his life was going to die, and that he better wake up now, or he will never see her again?

Fin put his hand on Munch's shoulder. "El bro, you gotta wake up and get better. Olivia needs you right now. She is in bad shape El…you gotta wake up man."

They all stood silent, when they saw Elliot stir.

"L…L.." Was all he was able to get out.

"Elliot! You're awake!" Munch exclaimed, and pressed the nurse's button.

"L…Liv…" He repeated.

"Elliot don't talk. Just breathe." Cragen told him.

He looked the Cap directly in the eyes, "Liv…ok?" He asked him.

"She's up in surgery, we don't know anything yet." He said honestly.

Elliot turned his head and a tear rolled down his cheek, "tell. Liv. I. love--" He started to say before he loss consciousness again.

The nurse entered the room causing them all to look towards the door, they saw Kathy standing there. They all wondered how much she heard. Judging from her pissed of expression she heard at least the last part.


	4. Chapter 4 Separated

Chapter 4- Separated

"Captain Cragen!" The nurse came storming in Elliot's room. "I need to speak with you out in the hall!"

The whole room went pale. Cragen walked out of the room scared of what she had to say.

"Captain, we need to transfer Detective Benson to another hospital immediately." She said as fast as her lips moved.

"Why, what's going on?" The Captain asked completely freaking out on the inside.

"We have encountered several more problems once we opened her up. We need to Mercy Flight her right away to Saint Graces, they are better staffed for the type of surgery she will need. But we have to move fast."

"Go! Go; Do you what you have to do to save my best Detective." The Captain nodded at the nurse who quickly ran down the hall.

Eoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeo

They sat in there seats in the waiting room. Completely silent with there heads hung low. It was a hard reality to face. Elliot was in a coma, Olivia got transported to another hospital, and it doesn't look like she will make it through the night. They had no control over situation. It was completely out of their hands. There was nothing they could do.

The waiting room now consisted of Kathy and the kids. No one said a word. They just waited, waited for the nurse to come into the waiting area and tell them Elliot was going to make it.

It had been four hours since Olivia had been taken to St. Graces Hospital and still no word. The guys were starting to worry. They had no idea what went on in that Motel Room. They wondered how it all went down. They wondered what O'Hara had done to Olivia during the 20 minutes that she was left alone with him.

"Ms. Stabler?" A nurse asked as she walked into the waiting room.

"Yes," Kathy said as they all stood up and gathered around the nurse.

"Detective Stabler is now awake. We ran a few simple tests on him, and looks like he is out of the woods."

The room let out a large breathe. Like everyone just breathed for the first time.

"You can go in and see him for a little bit. But he does need his rest, so you can't be too long." The nurse informed them.

Kathy and the kids followed the nurse while Don, Munch and Fin took there seats in the waiting room again. This time half the load had been lifted off there shoulders. They were so relieved to hear that Elliot was going to pull through. But they also wondered how the hell they were going to tell Elliot about Olivia. No one was volunteering to make that speech.

"You know guys, now that we know Elliot is going to be ok, I'm going to go to St. Graces and check on Benson."

Munch and Fin nodded. They knew that Olivia was like a daughter to him, and that it was killing him that he couldn't be there for her. They also new that once Elliot found out about her condition, it was going to kill him a hundred times worse then the Captain.

Eoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeo

When Don arrived at St. Graces Hospital he was scared. It took him a minute or two before he was actually able to walk into the front doors. He was scared to death.

He walked up to the nurse's station and flashed is badge, "Detective Benson?"

The nurse gave him a sympathetic look. That's not good, Don thought.

"She's still in surgery, we haven't heard too much. I'm sorry Captain."

The Captain gave a simple nod and took his seat in the waiting room.

He brought his hands to his face. How could he have been so naive? How could he leave Olivia alone in a motel room for 20 minutes? He felt like such a jack ass. How could he of told Elliot to wait for the Hostage squad to arrive? If anything happened to Olivia during those 20 minutes he would never, ever be able to forgive himself, he knew Elliot wouldn't be able to either. However he wasn't even sure if he would get the chance to find out.

"Captain Cragen," The nurse said remorsefully as Cragen rose and stood face to face with the nurse.

"Detective Benson is out of surgery. I'm sorry to say this but we do not think she will make it through the next 24 hours. She lost a lot of blood." She stopped for a moment so that Cragen could take the information in. Olivia was going to die.

"Captain, we will need her family to fill out some paperwork." She said handing Cragen a clip board filled with papers. "We need to know if she has a will, if it says anything about organ donation--" She was cut off by the sobs of Cragen. He sat back down in the chair and buried his face in his hands again. Wills, organ donation? He couldn't think about those things right now. His world was crumbling. And most importantly how was going to get Elliot to sign the papers for Olivia. He wished more then anything that Olivia put two names on her in case of Emergency forms.

Eoeoeoeoeoeo

"Munch"

"Munch is Cragen; I need to have Elliot sign some forms for Olivia, is he well enough?" He managed to say with out breaking down.

"Um, he's awake; Kathy and the kids are in there right now." Munch replied.

"Ok, well I'm going to fax over the papers for him to sign. John does Elliot know about Liv's condition?"

"No. We haven't told him yet, but Cap, he keeps asking for her, he's still a little bit out of it, calling Kathy Liv and things like that. I don't know if he is even capable of signing the forms." Munch said honestly.

"Oh, ok then. I will talk to the nurse and explain the situation. Bye John."

"Hey Cap?"

"Yeah John?"

"What did they say about Liv?"

Don let out a large breath, "They gave her 24 hours."

"I'll see you in 10 minutes." John said and hung up the phone, and turned to walk into Elliot's room.

"Elliot, I have to go for a little while." He told Elliot and nodded to his family. He turned and walked out.

"Wait! Uncle John!" Maureen called out after him.

"Yes Sweetie what is it?" He asked the teary eyed young woman standing in front of him.

"Liv how is she?"

John sighed, "Not good honey."

A tear fell from her eye, "Is she going to make it?"

John pulled Maureen into a hug, he patted her head, "No honey, she's not. They had to move her to St. Graces. Don just called me, it's not looking good. I'm on my way there right now."

Maureen sobbed in her Uncles arms. "It's going to kill him." She whispered.

"I know." John said and let go of Maureen. He walked away, tears fresh in his eyes.

Maureen wiped her eyes and went back into her Dad's room.

"Reen? Sweetheart, what's wrong?" Elliot coughed out when Maureen entered the room.

She couldn't talk; she sat down and cried into Kathleen's shoulder.

"Maureen, what did John say to you?" Elliot asked now growing very concerned.

Maureen looked up at her mother who was giving her a death look.

Maureen shook her head, "Nothing Daddy." She lied.

"Is it Liv? Is she ok? Please Maureen tell me, no one has told me anything. Please sweetheart, please tell me how she is doing?"

One thing she never saw her Dad do was beg, it was heartbreaking. But how was she to tell her Dad that Olivia wasn't going to make it through the night?

She walked up to her Dad's hospital bed and placed her hands in his, "She's been transferred to another hospital. That's all John said. I'm sorry Daddy."

Elliot looked away; he knew it was bad, real bad. He didn't want his children or wife for that matter to see him cry. "Please give me a minute alone." He said to his family.

They respected his wishes and walked out of the room.

When the room was emptied Elliot bawled his eyes out like a 9 year old girl. If Liv didn't make it he didn't know how he would be able survive. She was his support system, his other half, his better half. She was the only one that completely understood him. The only one he could actually talk too. She was the only one that knew how to push his buttons. Who would he fight with? Who would he flirt with? It was his entire fault. He couldn't catch his breath. It was too much for him.

"Daddy?" It was Maureen. She walked slowly over to her father and sat next to him on the bed. She embraced her father with a sympathetic hug.

"I'm sorry Maureen, I'm sorry you have to see me like this." He said into his eldest daughters shoulder.

"It's ok Dad, I mean how times have I cried on your shoulder?" She giggles a little. "You're in love with Olivia aren't you Dad?" She wasn't accusing, she wasn't being mean.

When he couldn't answer and just cried more, Maureen was sure that his Dad was completely in love with Olivia.

"Does she know?" She asked him.

"No. That's just it Maureen. She doesn't know how I feel, and now she's never going too." He was now sobbing uncontrollably on his daughters shoulder. He couldn't believe what he just admitted, and to his own daughter. He felt completely helpless.

"It's ok Daddy, its ok." Maureen said rubbing his back.

"Do you think I'm terrible person?" he asked.

"No Daddy, not at all. I could never think that of you. Look Dad, I know that Mom can be a bit…um…crazy sometimes, and I know that you guys barely talk anymore, and when you do you two are fighting. And Liv is great, let's face it you spend 100 more times with Liv then Mom. I guess we all sort of knew that you were in love with her. We've known for awhile now. I don't blame you Dad. You and Mom were teenagers when you got married. Look I'm not saying that I'm not hurt by this, because I was when I found out…."

"When you found out?" He interrupted.

"Yeah when I found out like 4 years ago."

"Four years ago? Maureen I didn't even know I was in love with her till earlier today." He confessed.

"Daddy please. You might not have been able to admit it, but I've known for awhile. Every time she would call you would get giddy. Every time you talked about her you would glow. And when you two were actually together, I don't know you just click, you know? She brought out this other side of you that know one else could, a good side, a softer side. It is so obvious to everyone around you guys that you two are completely in love with each other."

"I don't know what to say. I can't lose her Reen."

She kissed her Dad on the forehead and got up. "I don't want to lose her either." And she walked out of the room

Elliot had no idea what to think about the conversation he just had with his daughter. He didn't dwell on it though. He could only think about Liv, and pray that he would be able to see her again.


	5. Chapter 5Breakdown

Chapter 5 -Breakdown

Elliot sat in the dark hospital room for hours. Just thinking about what his life would be like if Olivia died. Every half hour or so someone would come in and try and get Elliot to talk, or at least turn the lights on. He would only ask one question, 'How was Liv?'

When who ever responded with, 'No word yet' he asked that they leave.

He didn't want the lights on, he didn't want any visitors, he only wanted one thing, his Liv.

He was not sure what time he actually fell asleep at, but when he woke up Kathy was in the room talking to him. He didn't want to talk to anyone, especially his wife when he was in deep mourning for the true love of his life. For this reason he thought it better that he pretended sleeping.

"I'm scared Elliot. I'm scared that our marriage is in danger. I don't know maybe I am just overreacting but you are scaring me right now. I know you and Olivia are friends, I know that, but you closing yourself off like this, not even wanting to see our children makes me worry, makes me think that maybe you have more then just those, 'friend' feelings for her. I know we have fight about this constantly and you tell me nothing is going on between you guys, but from your reactions it makes it very hard to believe that you guys are 'just friends'."

She took a deep breath. She needed to say it. She was truly scared for her marriage. For the first time she realized that maybe Elliot had fallen out of love with her. She remembered the times when Elliot would close himself off to the world, Just like he was doing now. Normally it was a case that was too hard for him to forget about. The person that could always break him down and get him to talk was Olivia. How come Olivia could do it, and she couldn't, she was his wife for God sake. She began to cry. All the signs were pointing to one conclusion. Elliot was in love with Olivia. Whether she liked it or not.

Kathy wondered if Olivia knew. She wondered if Olivia loved him back. Then she laughed at herself. 'Duh Kathy,' She thought. You would have to be blind and deaf not to see the chemistry between the two. Kathy let out a sigh. She thought what she and Elliot had was stronger then what Olivia could offer, she thought that she could control him. Hell she reminded him everyday that if he ever left her she would take away the kids. Why wasn't that enough?

She had to leave the room. She couldn't think of Elliot and Olivia anymore. She simply got up and walked out. She walked passed the waiting room, past her kids and walked right out of the hospital.

Elliot took a deep breath. He let what his wife said settle in. He knew that she was upset, and worried, but he didn't care. He couldn't worry or even think of anything other than Olivia. His world was collapsing around him.

Eoeoeoeoeoeo

Back at St. Graces there was little word on Olivia. She had been in surgery for over 10 hours. A nurse would come out every so often and inform Munch and the Captain that she was still holding on.

They knew that Elliot was going crazy. They hoped he was taking care of himself. He was still recovering from his injuries. They worried that his worries for Liv would set him back.

Munch looked over at the Captain, "Should we go check on Elliot?"

"You can go," The Cap replied "but I can't leave her."

"Yeah I know. She's all we got." Munch said thinking about what he just said. It was true, the unit was all Olivia had. She didn't have any family. They were her family. "Besides Kathy and the kids are with Elliot, Fin is probably there too." Munch added.

"Captain! Munch!" They looked over at a sobbing Casey, who just walked into the room.

They both got up to hug her.

"How is she doing?" Casey asked

"Still in surgery, hanging in there." Munch answered.

"Rumor has it that she was given 24 hours?" Casey barely got out.

"That's what they said, but you know doctors, they are always wrong." Munch replied.

The three of them waited in the waiting room, hoping and praying that the Doctors were wrong this time. After all they didn't know Liv. She was strong, she was a fighter. She could pull through this, she had to.

After what seemed to be forever a Doctor came out to the waiting area. They all rose.

"Detective Benson is out of surgery. She slipped into a coma during surgery. We have her on a life support machine. It is unlikely that she will make it through the morning." The Doctor said very sympathetically.

Casey let out a huge sob and put her head on John's shoulder.

"Do you want us to arrange for a priest to come read Detective Benson her last rights?" The Doctor asked.

"Please." Don said and then continued to look at the floor.

"Ok, I will make arrangements. I will let you know when it is all set up. If she has any other family that is not here, now would be the time to get them here and say there goodbyes." The Doctor said and walked out of the waiting room.

The room was quiet except for Casey trying hard not to cry.

Don looked at them, "What are we going to do about Elliot?" He asked.


	6. Chapter 6Last Rights

Chapter 6 Last Rights

Don took a deep breath before he walked into Elliot's room. He had no idea how Elliot was going to handle the news about Olivia. Don wasn't even sure how you bring something like this up.

"Elliot?" He called when he walked into the dark room. "Where is the light switch?" He asked when he finally saw Elliot's figure through the rays of the street lamp coming through the window.

"Leave it off please," Elliot said with a sad undertone, "I like the dark."

"Listen Elliot, I'm not going to say anything about how unhealthy this is for you, sitting in the dark and all. However I am going to say that she wouldn't want you to doing this to yourself, especially over her."

"Is she gone?" Elliot said looking up at his Captain with the most pained eyes Don had ever seen.

"No…not exactly. She doesn't have that long Elliot. The hospital is scheduling that her Last Rights be read in an hour or so," He looked at Elliot's freshly filled teary eyes, "I thought you would like to be there."

"There is no place I would rather be then by her side. But Cap, am I allowed to leave the hospital?"

"It's not like you're going home. You are going to another Hospital, and it's only for a little bit. Besides after I told them the reason they bent over backwards to make the arrangements. The bus is going to take you there. When I spoke to Maureen she said that she wanted to be there too, and so did the rest of your kids. I hope that is ok?"

Elliot nodded.

"Ok then. I will drive them over." Don said when he saw a nurse arrive in Elliot's room.

"Ok Detective Stabler the ambulance is outside waiting for you," The nurse said unplugging the machines that were connected to him. She wheeled him out on the hospital bed. Don headed for the waiting room.

Eoeoeoeoeoeoe

When Elliot arrived the room was filled with the SVU crew. Cragen, Munch, Fin, Casey, and Elliot's children. They were all standing around the bed. Munch and Fin made room so that Elliot could fit his wheelchair into the spot right next to Liv. He finally saw her. Lying there, helpless, pale, thin and knocking on death's door.

He lost it immediately. Tears ran down his trembling face. His body began to shake. He didn't want to see her like this. It was all his fault. He took Liv's hand and placed it in his. There was not a dry eye in the room.

Flashes of memories raced through his head. The first time he met her. He knew he was in trouble when he laid eyes on that gorgeous face, and figure. He remembered that when they were first introduced she held out her steady hand, and when he reached out to shake it she looked him directly in the eyes. I guess you could say that was when he knew he was going to fall in love with her. It was in her huge honey brown eyes staring back into his baby blues. He felt a bolt of electricity run through his body when he touched her hand. And then she smiled. Good God that smile. He jolted back into reality when he realized he would never see that smile again.

The room was silent as the priest walked in. Casey moved so that the priest could take her spot, which was on the other side of Elliot.

This was it. She was going to die. Olivia was going to die. Elliot couldn't control his emotions anymore, he sobbed out loud uncontrollably. What was he going to do? How would he survive? She was his everything. His partner, his friend, equal, companion, other half…soul mate.

The Priest was beginning his prayers,

"I RECOMMEND you, dear sister , to Almighty God, and commit you to His mercy, whose creature you art; that having paid the common debt of nature by giving up your soul, you may return to your Maker, who formed you out of the earth. May, therefore, the noble company of Angels meet your soul at its departure;"

Elliot felt a lump in the back of his throat as he choked back the endless tears rolling down his face. His brain was fried, he couldn't think of anything but Olivia. He was now in a daydream of when he came home one night to find a teary eyed Liv waiting for him on his steps. She was upset about a case, and wasn't sure if she could do the job anymore. He never wanted to hold her, touch her, kiss her so bad. He wanted to tell her everything was going to be ok. It was just another moment out of many that he wished he had told how much he loved her. He needed more time with her.

He felt his insides burn in extreme pain, but it wasn't from his injuries. It was his heart, it was broken, crushed, smashed into a thousand pieces. He had never felt so alone, so hopeless. He felt a darkness come over him, he couldn't explain it, but it hurt like a sonovabitch.

When the Priest was done with his prayers, he walked over to Elliot and placed his hand upon his shoulder, "My son, although it may seem like God has taken your love away, do not turn away from your faith. God works in mysteries ways." and with that walked out of the room.

All eyes were on Elliot, especially Kathy. _Did the Priest really just call Olivia his love? _Kathy wondered as she glared at her husband. She was furious with Elliot. She was furious that he couldn't keep his emotions in check, and for breaking down in front of their kids. Most importantly she was upset that it was completely obvious to everyone in that room that he was in love with Olivia.

"Can I get a moment alone with her please?" Elliot asked almost in a whisper.

They all nodded there heads (except Kathy), their eyes in tears. They placed a sympathetic pat on Elliot's shoulder as they walked out. Kathy just walked out, she didn't even look at Elliot. She felt no sympathy for him, she was too angry to feel anything but embarrassed.

The room was clear, leaving just Elliot and Olivia. He took her hand and placed it in his. He brought it up to his lips and kissed it tenderly, he brought their hands back down to her side, never letting go.

"Liv, I don't even know what to say. I can't believe this is happening. I can't believe you are leaving me, forever. I don't know what I'm going to do with out you," He took a moment to compose himself as he was getting choked up and unable to speak, "I would do anything, anything to change places with you Liv. It's all my fault. I can't believe I let this happen. I wish it was me."

He let out a large breath. "I don't know how to move on. How can I possibly manage with out you? You are my everything Liv. You're my partner, my best friend, my better half…I think you are my soul mate Liv. I love you. I love you so much sob and I never got to tell you. We never got our chance. I always thought that somewhere down the road you would realize that I was head over heels in love with you, and that maybe you felt the same way." He wiped his tears away. "I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to say goodbye." He sobbed so hard he couldn't breath. "I don't want to say goodbye, not to you. I love you…"

He stood up from his wheelchair, and whispered in her ear, "I love you Olivia, with my whole heart and sole." He kissed her on the forehead and took one last look at his beautiful partner. He bowed his head and placed her hand on her stomach, when he with drew her hand from his he felt something. A squeeze!! She squeezed his hand!

A/N: Liv returns on Oct 31! It looks like a great episode! I CAN NOT WAIT! THE SHOW IS NOT THE SAME WITH OUT HER! Oh and doesn't she look fantastic!?


	7. Chapter 7Miracles

Chapter 7 - Miracles?

"Liv!" His eyes widened and a tear of hope fell down his cheek. "Liv, squeeze my hand again! Come on Liv, I know you can do it! You got to do it Liv." He frantically pressed the nurse button on her bed.

"Liv! Please wake up! I know you're there Liv, I know you can hear me. Please, for me."

Again, he felt the weakest squeeze from her hand. It was the most magical sensation he ever felt.

A nurse entered the room, before she could even speak Elliot blurted out, "She squeezed my hand! Twice!"

The nurse ran over to the bed to check Olivia's vital signs. She hit the intercom button on Liv's bed, "Page Dr. Shepard, get him down here immediately."

Elliot couldn't believe it! His heart began race. Before he could even process the situation the Doctor followed by another nurse wheeled him out of the room.

His head was spinning; he didn't even know how he got into the hall.

"Elliot! What happened? We saw the Doctor go into Liv's room, did she pass?" Munch asked.

"Huh? What? No, "A smile emerged on Elliot's face, "She squeezed my hand. She squeezed my hand John!" Elliot said as John bent over and embraced his friend in a consuming hug.

A nurse came out that broke up the hug.

"Detectives, we are not sure what happened but she appears to be awakening from her coma. She has not opened her eyes, but she is responding to our voices. We are going to take her up and run some tests on her. Now," She said looking at Elliot, "I don't want to get your hopes up, Detective Benson is in very critical condition just because she is responding does not mean she is going to pull through. I'll let you know her status as soon as we get the labs back. The best thing you can do for her is pray for a miracle."

Elliot felt like he was going to have a heart attack, "What does that mean John? What does that mean?" He asked his friend in complete distress.

"It means we wait, and we pray for a miracle." He replied.

"Come with me?" Elliot asked.

"What?"

"Come with me to the Chapel."

"Sure." John would have done anything for Elliot at that moment. Although John was Jewish he would pray to every God there was if it meant that Olivia would survive.

Eoeoeoeoeoeoe

The Chapel was peaceful; they were the only two people in there. They bowed their heads and prayed for a miracle. After a few minutes they lifted up there heads.

"What happened in there Elliot?" Munch asked.

"I don't know man. I was just talking to her. Telling her everything I should of said years ago. Baring out my heart and sole you know?" He looked at John who nodded his head understanding what Elliot was saying.

"I had her hand in mine, I told her I loved her and placed her hand on her stomach and when I went to withdraw my hand she squeezed it. At first I thought I had imagined it, it all happened so fast. So I told her, to please squeeze it again, and she did! She heard me John."

John didn't know what to say so he just said the first thing that came to his mind, "She's a strong person Elliot. There is no doubt in my mind that she is fighting like hell to come back to us, to you. What ever you said to her she wanted you to know that she heard you."

Elliot's eyes swelled up again. "I told her I didn't know how to say goodbye, not to her. I love her John. I have for a long time."

John nodded. This was not news to him. It wasn't news to anyone. Everyone at the 1-6 could see it in his eyes, in her eyes. They way they were with each other. They were like an old married couple. They had the chemistry that people could only write about. John prayed that they would get the chance to be together.

"I don't know what to do about Kathy, John. She knows." He lifted his head and looked at John.

John took a deep breath. "Listen Elliot, I'm not one to give advice on marriage, but if you have had these feelings for someone else…it usually means that there is something wrong in your marriage."

Elliot exhaled a long breath, "Yeah."

"Well we should get back down there." Munch said standing up.

"Yeah, give me a minute. I'll meet you down there, k?"

"Sure." John said and walked out.

"God, I know you are there. I know you were looking down on Olivia today. Please don't take her. Not yet. She is a good person, a great person. She helps people, you know? She cares, she really cares about the victims, and she gives them hope when they are hopeless. She would bend over backwards for anyone if they asked her too. She has had a hard, a hard life, but she doesn't hold it against anyone; she doesn't let people pity her. She has a beautiful spirit; any room lightens up when she walks in. However, she doesn't let people love her; she thinks that no one can love her. Yet she has so much love to give, and I love her with my whole heart. If only I had the chance to tell her. Please God, let her know what love is, let her experience it once before you take her. Amen."

Eoeoeoeoeoeo

When Elliot entered the waiting room all eyes turned to him, but no one said anything.

"No news yet." Cragen simply said.

He noticed that Kathy and the twins were gone.

"Mom went home. She took the twins with her. Something about needing to shower." Maureen said. She could read her Dad like a book.

Maureen had never felt so confused in her entire life. She had so many emotions running through her body she felt like she might explode. She was scared to death about losing Olivia. Olivia had always been like a cool Aunt or Big sister figure in her life. Liv was the one she went too, when she couldn't talk to her Mom or Dad. She gave the best advice. She couldn't imagine what she was going to do with out her. Then she would think of her Dad. How was her Dad going to handle all of this? She had never seen her Dad so distraught before. Which then brought her to her mother. She didn't know why but she was mad at her. She was mad that she wouldn't let her Dad leave her, when she knew damn well that he was in love with Olivia. She couldn't understand why her mother wanted to stay with him. They fought all the time; she was constantly accusing him of having an affair. When her Dad was home, he spent all his time with her and her siblings. She didn't understand what was left of their marriage. As Maureen got older she started to think that the only reason her Mom wouldn't leave her Dad was to punish him. Punish him for falling out of love with her.

Maureen thought about her parents for a minute. When Maureen's parents were her age 23, they were married with two kids. Maureen thought of her high school boyfriend, and how she thought she was in love with him. How she thought she was going to marry him. She almost laughed at herself for being so naïve. She didn't even know what love was back then. How can anyone at such a young age. Her parents were too young to know what real love was. They were foolish teenagers. She felt bad for her Dad, that he never got the opportunity to be single, explore his options, and grow as a person. He got trapped, and because of the guy he was he took full responsibility for his actions.

This would then lead her back to Olivia. Who was so obviously her Dad's true love. She was mad at her mother for leaving the hospital and taking the twins with her. How could she leave at a time like this? She knew that Lizzie and Dickie wanted to stay, but she had no authority over the situation.

She couldn't keep her emotions together anymore. She walked over to her Dad sat down next to him and cried on his shoulder. He patted her back and whispered, "I know, I know" over and again. Watching this scene caused Kathleen to breakdown as well. She got up and sat on the other side of her father and bawled into his other shoulder. "I love you girls" Elliot whispered to them.

When one person cries it starts a trend. Casey lost it when she looked at Elliot and his eldest girls. She cried into Munch's shoulder. Cragen got up and sat on the other side of Casey to help console her. Fin couldn't take it; he stood up and walked outside, "Need to get some fresh air." He muttered underneath his tears.

Eoeoeoeoeoeoeoeoeo

It seemed like forever before the nurse came into the waiting room. They all gathered around to hear the news.

"We have Detective Benson in the ICU. She is in serious critical condition. She is in and out of consciousness, but she is responsive. We ran a bunch of tests and they look promising compared to the last test results. She is a fighter, she doesn't want to leave us."

"She's the strongest person I know. Can we see her?" Elliot asked.

"Detective Stabler, I don't want to get your hopes up, she is still in critical condition. And let's not forget about your own injuries. We should really take you back to the other hospital."

"No! No, I won't go. Not yet. Please, let me see her first?" Elliot pleaded with the nurse.

"Ok, but just for a few minutes, and then we are taking you back. Understood?"

Elliot nodded in agreement. He would have said and done anything to get to see Liv.

Eoeoeoeoeoeoeoe

He wheeled himself into the private room. She was laying there. She looked the same as she did before, yet something was different about her. He didn't know what it was, but it was there, something.

He took her hand and placed it in his, like he had earlier. "Liv, you gotta stop doing this to me. I don't know how much more I can take." He let out a little laugh, "I don't have much time. The nurses say I have to go back to the other hospital. This means I have to leave you now. You have to promise me something Liv, you have to promise that you are going to pull through this, be the strong woman I know you are. I know you can hear me Liv, so for the first time in our partnership I need you to do as I say." He chuckled out loud, he knew that she was probably laughing too, "I Love you Liv." He brought her hand up to his lips, bowed his head and kissed her soft silky hand.

"You staring at my chest Stabler?" Olivia said very weakly.

Elliot immediately looked up into her eyes. A smile emerged from ear to ear. Her voice, that sweet sexy voice of hers. "Olivia! You're awake!"

"You're a genius Detective." she said joking.

"Just awoke from a coma and already making fun of me," He said as they stared into each others beautiful eyes, "I missed you Liv. Don't ever do that to me again. You hear?" He said as his eyes began to water.

She looked at him and could tell that she really must have scared him. "That bad, huh?"

Elliot nodded.

"So I guess I'm not going to get to leave anytime soon?"

Elliot let out a laugh, "No Liv, you're not going anywhere," he tilted his head and smiled, "You're not going anywhere but right here." He said as he took her hand kissed it and placed it over his heart.


	8. Chapter 8realizations

Chapter 8- Realizations

It had been three months since Olivia had woken up. The Doctor was just in to confirm that she would be discharged tomorrow. She couldn't have been more thrilled. She swore to herself that if she didn't get out of this 'fucking hellhole' she would eat her gun.

It had been a painful three months. She had physical therapy twice a day, and it was torture. The first few weeks she would tell the staff to cut off her limbs to save herself from the pain. Thank God those days were over.

She wished that physical therapy was the hardest, but it wasn't. It was the emotional therapy that hurt the most. Especially when she had to remember that awful day. She remembered when she asked one of the nurses if she had been raped. The nurse told her there was no evidence, but that didn't mean that it didn't happen. For the first few weeks she did not remember a lot about that night. However it was when Elliot was telling her how scared he was for her that night she remembered. She remembered having to strip. She remembered getting hit repeatedly, and then she remembered being scared, real scared. He went into the bathroom and told her that when he got out, He was going to 'have you like know one has ever had you before, I hope you like it rough Olivia, Lord knows I do.' She cried for Elliot. After that her memory was a little fuzzy, but the next thing she remembered was Elliot holding her in his arms and telling her that she was going to be ok.

Her mind wondered at the mere thought of Elliot. He had been her rock for the past 3 months…no the past 8 years. He visited her everyday she was in the hospital. Snook her in snacks, mostly chocolate and coffee. There was something different about Elliot. She didn't know what it was, but she liked it.

She loved spending time with him. It was her favorite part of the day when he came to visit. They would play cards and just talk. They talked and talked about nothing in particular. It was like they were this old married couple. Except he had a wife. She frowned when she thought about that. Elliot had been so good to her, and affectionate. If she wasn't in love with him before, she definitely was now.

He had started kissing her. Her lips tingled just thinking about it. The first time he kissed her was about three weeks after she woke up. They were talking about that night, and he was overcome with guilt. He began to cry and kept apologizing repeatedly, for letting her down, not being there for her. She looked him in the eyes and hugged him. She told him that he did save her, and that there was no need for apologies. He pulled away from her embrace and looked into her loving brown eyes and moved his head closer and closer to hers, there lips were centimeters apart, she could feel his warm breath on her face, he leaned in slowly until his lips were touching hers. He opened his mouth and tasted her for the first time. He moaned into her mouth, she tasted like sweet candy. It was the best kiss he had ever had, and only lasted a minute.

The next time he kissed her was a couple days later. They were sitting on her bed playing cards when he just leaned over and kissed her. She was so surprised her eyes almost popped out of her head. It lasted longer then their first kiss, but still no tongue involved.

"What was that for?" She asked him.

"I love you. You know that right?" He said bluntly.

She looked at him, his adorable face, "Yeah I know." She said with a smile, and they continued to play cards.

"How'd you know?"

"That night. I heard you say it," She looked up at him and smiled, "It was those words that kept me hanging on El."

It was like there love for each other was understood. It felt so normal, so matter-of-factly. Sometimes though, when she would think long and hard about it, it seemed so weird. There whole partnership had been weird. They were too close, but not close enough. The kissing thing was new, she liked it, but he was married!

He never mentioned Kathy, and you could be sure to be sure that she wasn't bringing it up. She did wonder though. She was beginning to feel guilty, on so many levels. The whole partner thing was one thing, but being a home wrecker was a totally different story.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOE

"Lizzy! Get down here now!" Kathy screamed at her daughter.

"No! I hate you! Leave me alone you stupid BITCH!" She screamed back.

"What did you just say to me young lady?! You will get down here now!" Kathy's face was as red as could be. She was furious with youngest daughter.

Lizzy walked down the stairs very slowly. Her hair was a mess and her face was just as red as Kathy's.

"I want an apology now." Kathy told her.

"No."

Kathy let out a big sigh, "I don't understand what is wrong with this family! This is my family! I am your mother! Remember that Elizabeth! Me! Not Olivia. She is not your mother!" Her temper was flaring.

"I never said she was my mother! I said I WISH she was my mother!"

"You are the most ungrateful girl I have ever, ever met!"

"Yeah? Well you're a psycho, and mean! What you are doing to Dad is just cruel! You have been cheating on Dad since before you guys were married, yet you won't give Dad a divorce? You don't love him! You never will! All you care about is yourself!" Lizzy screamed as she stormed out of the house slamming the door hard behind her.

Kathy was in shock. Not one of her children had ever spoken to her like that before. Not one of her children had ever brought up her extramarital affairs before either. Lizzy had caught her mother in bed with another man two months ago. Dickie caught her the previous year. Kathleen had caught her on too many times to count, same with Maureen.

Her children never said anything because they thought it would crush there Dad. They couldn't do that to him. However since Olivia almost died they all saw how true, how genuine his love for her was. Elliot told Kathy that there marriage was over. He told her flat out that he was in love with Olivia, and no matter how much he tried not to be, he just couldn't help it. She was his soul mate, time to stop pretending. Life was too short.

Kathy was being a rotten bitch throughout the whole thing. She didn't want Elliot to leave her, yet she knew he did not love her and she had been cheating him throughout there marriage. So why was Kathy being such a bitch? I'll tell you. Elliot was in love, he was in love, love. That was the difference. All those men that Kathy slept with, she didn't love them, and yet more importantly they didn't love her back. Elliot and Olivia, well, they were actually in love with each other. That hurt Kathy like no other. In return she wanted to hurt Elliot.


	9. Chapter 9Newdevelopments

Chapter 9 - New Developments

"Good Morning Gorgeous!" Elliot said as he walked into Olivia's hospital room with a dozen lilies her absolute favorite, "Are you ready to get the hell out of this place, and finally go home!" He said excited for her.

"I have never been so ready in my life!" Olivia said sitting up and smiling, "Are those for me?" She said looking at the lilies.

"These? No. No, they are for your hot nurse. "He said cracking a smile and placing them in her arms, and giving her kiss on the cheek.

"Phew you scared me there Stabler, because my nurse is a male!" She said teasing him.

A second later Olivia's male (and very flamboyant) nurse entered the room.

"So you're finally getting out of here Detective? I'm going to miss your pretty smile!" He opened up her file and walked closer to her bed, "I went ahead and set you up with a home nurse. She will stay with you for the first week, and then just come over once a day for your physical therapy."

Olivia had just taken a sip of water and choked to death on it when she heard the words, 'home nurse'. Thank God Elliot was there to speak on her behalf.

"Olivia Benson having a home nurse? Are you crazy? She will kill her the first hour she's there!" He laughed at her.

She coughed a little more; Elliot poured her another cup of water and handed it to her. "I definitely can not have a home nurse." she said licking her lips and then stopping to bite on the side of her bottom lip. She shook her head no, "absolutely not."

"Olivia, you live alone, you are going to need help. What if you slip in the bathroom and can't get up?" The nurse asked her.

"I'm not 90!"

"Olivia, you fell in the bathroom last year." Elliot said smiling at her.

"Ha ha Elliot, I'm still not having a live in nurse!"

"Well your only other option is that you stay here for another week." The nurse said to her.

Olivia leaned her head back and rolled her eyes. Elliot could see how frustrated she was, he hated seeing Olivia upset.

"Hey," Elliot said turning to the nurse, "Can I speak to you outside for a minute?"

Olivia gave him a, 'what the hell are you doing Stabler' look.

After about 30 seconds Elliot came back in the room, "Alright lets get you out of here!" Elliot said grinning proudly.

"What did you say to him Elliot?"

"Just worked my Stabler charm." He said as he winked at her.

"So I can go home?" She asked a smile growing upon her face.

"You're going home!"

"What about the whole nurse living with me thing." She asked nervously.

"No live in nurse," he said. She looked at him in disbelief, "Do you trust me?"

"Always."

"Ok well lets get you the hell out of here!" He helped her out of the bed and into the wheelchair. He grabbed her bags and the flowers and they left the hospital.

Eoeoeoeoeoeo

Elliot was in deep thought as he drove Liv home. He couldn't believe that she was actually leaving the hospital! Tears formed in his eyes when he thought about how close she came to dying. He almost didn't get to tell her he loved her. He almost never got to see that smile of hers.

He looked over at her with a sparkle in his eye; he took his right hand and placed it in hers. He squeezed tight. She rubbed his knuckles with her thumb.

"Elliot! You just passed my apartment! Where are you taking me? I swear to God Elliot if you are sticking me in some rehab center you are going to have to find a permanent replacement for your partner!"

He smiled at her, "Never. Just relax would you. I know what I'm doing. You said you trust me right?"

"Right."

"OK then, don't worry about it."

They pulled up to an apartment building a few blocks away from Olivia's. He put the car in park and turned off the engine.

"Elliot where the hell are we?"

"My Place." He said with a smile.

"Have you been drinking? This isn't your house!"

"No, I have not been drinking. This is my new place I moved in last month."

"The sign says one and two bedroom apartments, you guys must be pretty cramped in there…did you guys lose the house?" She said completely not understanding what Elliot was trying to tell her.

"Being off the job for 3 months has really affected your detective skills!"

She shook her head, "I don't get it,"

"This is my apartment Liv. Just mine, and well the kids when they want to stay with me."

"Huh?"

"I'm getting divorced."

Olivia's eyes widened, "Wha---wow. I'm sorry Elliot."

"Don't be sorry Liv; it's not your fault."

"What happened? Why?"

"How much time you have?" He laughed, "Basically we're not in love anymore, and I couldn't go around faking it for another minute."

"I can't believe you didn't tell me. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm telling you now. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, I just wasn't ready yet. So---let's get you moved in shall we?"

She coughed, "huh…what?"

"You're staying with me!"


	10. 10 Aftercare

CHAPTER 10 Aftercare

It had been over week since Olivia was discharged and living with Elliot. When she thought about the past week a smile draped across her face. Besides the given circumstances she had been having a wonderful time. She had never been one to let people take care of her, but when it was Elliot doing the taking care of it became natural to her. He made her breakfast every morning, came home on his lunch breaks, to see how her therapy went, and bring her lunch. He always made dinner and the dishes. He was every woman's' dream.

Cragen had been really good about the whole situation. Allowing Elliot longer lunch breaks, and he had not given him a difficult case so he could work normal business hours, and take care of Liv. Munch and Fin were being great sports about the work overload. They didn't mind, they knew that Elliot needed a break, and they were more then willing to give him one for a change; and there was nothing they wouldn't do to give Liv the help she needed.

He was catching up on some much needed paperwork when Elliot looked at the clock. It was 5pm. He picked up the phone and dialed, "Hey Gorgeous," He said softly into the phone so that no one could here, "Listen I'm going to be a little later tonight. I have to finish up on some paperwork. I called Casey she's on her way right now. I'll be home around 7. Is that ok?"

_"El, that's fine. You don't have to explain paperwork to me…"_

"How's the rest of your day going? You seemed tired when I left after lunch, did you take a nap?"

_"Yeah I passed out for about an hour then finished up my book…Hey El?"_

"mmm hmm?"

_"Thanks…"_

"For what Liv?"

_"Everything. I'll see you later."_

Eoeoeoeoeoeoeoeo

"Dinner was wonderful. Thank you for coming over Case." Olivia said while sipping her wine.

"Stop thanking me Olivia, I wanted to see you!" She smiled at her friend, "You look great Liv," She said picking up her glass of wine and walking over towards Olivia on the couch. She stopped a photo frame that was hung on the wall. It was a large frame for multiple photos. They were all pictures of Elliot and Olivia, laughing, and staring at each other with those 'love eyes'.

"So how is it staying with Elliot? Driving you crazy yet?" She teased.

"It's great actually Case," She said unable to hide her smile, "We get a long so well, and he has been so good to me. He takes such good care of me. I'm telling you Case; he went out and bought me tampons last week!"

"Oh My God, true love!" She laughed at Liv.

"It's just, perfect." She said taking another sip of her wine.

"So, you guys sleeping in the same bed?" Casey couldn't help it. She was dying to find out.

"Casey!" Olivia felt her face get warm, she wasn't sure if it was from the wine or from the question.

"Come on Liv, Spill."

"Ah, is this the reason you are trying to get me drunk Case?"

Casey laughed, "Come on Liv, give me the dirt! I need some dirt in my life, I need a life, but that is a different topic all together…pleeeease! I won't tell Elliot that you have already had three glasses of wine, you know he's going to be mad when he finds out you were drinking on your meds."

"Correction Case, he's going to be mad at you for getting me drunk, you did bring the wine over. And as for telling Elliot about the three glasses, I think he's going to find out anyway" She laughed to herself.

Casey laughed when she looked at Olivia, her cheeks were red and she was giggling to herself. Elliot was definitely going to know Liv was drunk.

"We're quite a pair you and me," Casey said looking at Liv, "I can see us as old ladies sneaking wine into the nursing home, hitting on the male nurses." Casey laughed and hiccupped at the same time. Perhaps she was a little drunk too.

"Only if they are as cute as Elliot."

"He loooooves you." Case said in a school girl voice.

"I know." She said smiling slowing sipping her wine.

"So you ARE sleeping in the same bed!" Casey exclaimed.

"Casey!"

"I'm not dropping it until you tell me. I can be very persuasive and very pushy when I'm drunk."

"It's not only when your drunk." Olivia said below her breath, but loud enough so Casey heard.

"Funny. So since you are not answering me I can only come to one conclusion. You guys are sleeping together….But are you well enough? I mean aren't you still in a lot of pain?"

"You really babble when you're drunk," She took a deep breath, "No we aren't sleeping together Case, I'm still in a great deal of pain. Yes, I am sleeping in the same bed as him. BUT! Only because it makes sense."

Casey thought about what Olivia had just said, and then she let out a huge laugh. "It only makes sense that you sleep together? Is that what you said?"

Olivia thought about what she said. She had to explain, "What I meant drunk ass, is that sometimes during the night I need him, glass of water, meds…I get nightmares too Case…He holds me and tells me everything is going to be ok."

Casey nodded. She forgot about the nightmares. "I'm sorry Liv." She said hoarsely.

"No, no…don't. Come on, I just totally turned this conversation serious. I was having fun; can we go back to having fun?"

"Yeah. So Liv tell me something, when you are all better, you are totally going to bang right?"

Olivia took a pillow and hit Casey with it. They both laughed.

"Hey! Looks like you guys are having a good time." Elliot said as he came in. He tossed his keys on the table along with his badge and gun.

"Hi Elliot!" Casey called over to him.

"Hey Case," He said walking over to the couch, "Hi beautiful," he said giving Liv a kiss on the cheek.

It just made Casey and Liv laugh even harder. They couldn't get a word out, they were dying laughing.

"What?! What did I do?" Elliot said confused, almost embarrassed. He studied the pair, "You guys are drunk?"

"Casey did it!" Olivia said pointing her finger at her.

"Nice Liv." Elliot smirked.

"Elliot- I left a plate for you in the microwave." Casey said while standing up and bringing her empty wine glass into the kitchen.

"Thanks Case, you didn't have to do that."

"No problem Elliot." She said while she gathered her things. "Ok Liv, it was a pleasure seeing you," She said as she bent down and kissed her goodbye, "Elliot, take care of our girl." She winked at him.

"Wait Case! You need me to drive you home?" Elliot asked concerned for his friend.

"Took a Cab. Thanks though El! Talk to you later Liv!" She called out and left.

Eoeoeoeoe

Later that night Elliot and Olivia were snuggling on his oversized chair. Olivia was reading a case file to Elliot snuggling up to his warm chest.

She paused from the reading to add in her 2 cents, "You need to talk to the Vic again El, you need to ask her about the missing half hour…" She looked down at him. He was staring up at her with a dazed look on his face.

"Elliot are you even listening to me?" She asked almost annoyed.

"I see your lips move,"

She cut him off with a "HUA!" followed by a frown of the brows.

"I see your lips move," He repeated, "BUT I get so distracted by them I lose concentration and all I can think about is how good it would feel to press my lips against yours…" He said looking into her widening mocha brown eyes, "and then I think about how good you taste," He said rubbing his fingers over her lips.

She was practically drooling over his every word, "Just kiss me El!" She shouted out, she was still a little tipsy from earlier.

He pulled her chin up to his with his fingers; he smiled showing her his pearly whites. He placed his lips against hers and kissed her softly. He broke through her lips with his tongue and met hers. He moaned softly into her mouth. His hands combed through her hair. He broke away to catch his breath.

"Casey asked me if I was sleeping with you."

He looked at her wondering how fun that conversation must have been, "What did you say?"

"The truth you jackass! What did you think I told her?"

"You know Liv," He said kissing her forehead, "A lot of questions and a lot of rumors are going to be going around about the two of us…"

"Elliot, are you oblivious?" She asked looking at him like he was stupid.

"What?"

"There are already questions and rumors going on about us. I mean shit, since the first year I came to SVU everyone was asking me if we were sleeping together!"

He smiled and giggled, "So it wasn't just me getting the 20 questions?"

"Definitely not." She said, and locked her lips with his.

He placed his hand around the front of her waist, carefully avoiding her wound. He knew where it was by heart. He could tell you how many moles, scars and wounds Liv had on her body, and there exact location. It wasn't sexual; it was just that over the past few months he had been helping her with most everything. Bathing, dressing, eating…things tended to get personal. It was nice though. To have that kind of comfort with someone. It was the first time that Olivia had been intimate with someone with out sleeping with them.

She pulled away from his steamy embrace. She got scared for a second, "El?"

"Hmm?" He said nuzzling his lips on her neck.

"I'm getting used to this…" She was too embarrassed to look at him.

He let out a small laugh, "What's so wrong about that Liv?"

"That doesn't scare you?" She said almost in shock that he didn't understand what she was saying.

"Why would that scare me? I'm getting used to this too Liv."

"What am I scared of? Do you not know me by now Stabler? I mean…what are we even doing? I mean are we? …when I'm better are we…." She let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding, "I just…ahhh...wow." She had 1,000 things running through her head and not one could get out.

"Shhh…Liv, Relax. I love you," He said stroking her hair, "And I think the technical term of what we are doing is called, 'dating' or 'seeing each other' perhaps you would even like, 'going steady'." She laughed at him as he used his two fingers like quotes as he mentioned each label.

"So we are actually doing this then?" She asked looking up into his deep blue eyes.

He crashed his lips into hers and kissed her deeply and then pulled away, "And incase that doesn't answer your question, Yes. Liv, we are actually doing this." He smiled at her and put his lips back where they belong, upon hers.


	11. 11 One Long Night

**a/n: This ones for you Rach. Needed some EOness b4 tonight's episode (gag me!)**

Chapter 11- One Long Night

It was a little after midnight when Elliot heard a pounding on his door. He was in a deep sleep, and didn't want to move from his position in bed. He was cuddling Liv, holding her tight. Her head was rested in the crevasse of his shoulders. The pounding continued. He carefully got out of bed hoping that he didn't wake Liv.

"I'm coming, I'm coming." He said towards the door.

He opened it up and saw Kathy standing there. He frowned. "Kathy what are you doing here?"

She barged in. She was drunk, loaded, completely hammered.

He pulled her arm back and got a whiff of booze, "Jesus Kathy how much did you drink tonight?"

"I miss you Elliot. I miss you so much. I'm sorry for everything. I want you back." She began to sob.

"Kathy, don't do this."

"Why? Elliot those men didn't mean anything to me, I swear. I love you. Please, let's work this out."

He just shook his head, "Kathy we are not getting back together. I love you, I do, but I'm not _in_ love with you. You are the mother of my children and we will always have that bond, but Kathy you cheated on me countless times. How can you stand there and tell say you love me, you don't know what love is."

"And I bet she does?" She said coldly. He didn't say anything. He wanted to keep Liv out of this.

Kathy looked around his apartment. She didn't recognize this apartment, it wasn't familiar at all. This was Elliot's new apartment, his new life that did not include her. She looked at the photos he had hanging on the wall. They were of his children mostly; she felt the rage grow when she saw Liv on his wall. Not just once or twice, but many. Photos of him and her together. It really made her blood boil. She looked towards the couch, and saw a pink hooded sweatshirt laying on it. She looked to the doorway and saw a few pairs of women's shoes. She looked on the kitchen counter and saw a few prescription bottles. She picked one of them up, 'Olivia Benson'.

"She's here? You are living with her?" Kathy's temper started to flair.

"Yes Kathy she is here, and she is sleeping so I would prefer it you kept your voice down so you don't wake her."

"Like Hell!" she stormed into Elliot's bedroom, "Get up you bitch! You bitch! Why couldn't you just die?"

Olivia stirred; she was having a dream about her mother. It felt so real, she heard the words, and she smelled the booze. She was going to get beat again. She felt a cold arm on hers trying to wake her, "No MOM! NO! Get off of me! Mom No!" She shouted.

Elliot pulled Kathy away from Olivia, his heart broke when she said, 'mom'. For the first time he got an inside look into Olivia's childhood.

Olivia opened her eyes, "Kathy?" She rubbed them to make sure she was seeing correctly.

"Kathy get the hell out of my apartment, now!" Elliot said shoving her out the door. He could tolerate getting yelled at by Kathy, but he wasn't going to put Liv through it. She had nothing to do with it.

Olivia got out of bed and headed towards the living room just as Elliot slammed the door.

He walked over to her, "Liv, I'm so sorry. I don't even know what to say, she just showed up and barged in. Are you ok? Did she hurt you?"

"It's ok Elliot; it's not your fault. I'm fine." She said taking a seat on the couch and rubbed her forehead.

He sat down beside her and put her arm around her. "You thought she was your mother didn't you?"

She looked up at him, "How'd you know?"

"You called out her name."

She bobbed her head up and down. "That scene right there was my childhood. I can't even tell you how many times she would wake me up in the middle of the night screaming her head off, throwing every name in the book at me, and then beat me until I passed out."

"I'm sorry, Liv." He kissed the top of her head.

"I know. It's ok, I got used to it real quick."

He shook his head at the comment that came out of her mouth, "That is not something a child should get used too."

"I know."

He tilted her head so that it met his; he rested his forehead against hers and held it there. They starred into each others eyes, "I love you." He whispered. He kissed her hard on the mouth. She was taken back at first, but then her body reacted. She kissed him back, massaging her tongue with his. He placed her hands in his hair and he cupped her jaw in his hands. He needed her; he needed her to feel him. Feel how much he loved her, feel how much he meant to her.

He ran his hands up her shirt and rubbed her breasts. She moaned into his mouth. This was as far as they had ever gotten in the past months, but something about this time…something told them both that they were not going to be able to stop there.

He continued to kiss her, as he took his hands out of her shirt. He pulled up the T-shirt she was wearing above her head, never losing eye contact. She kissed him hard the second the shirt came off, "I want you El, tonight, now."

"Yeah? You sure?" He asked making sure she was physically alright.

"Never been more sure about anything in my life." She got up from the couch and outstretched her hand for him to take. She pulled him up and they headed to the bedroom. She pulled off his shirt and let her hands rub up and down his chest. She looked at the man before her, he was gorgeous. She kissed his navel and licked her way up until her mouth found his again.

He moaned into her mouth. He sat her down on his bed and helped her out of her shorts. "Did I ever tell you how hot it is that you don't wear underwear to bed?" He said smirking at her.

She just giggled. He laid her back on the bed so that her feet were on the floor. He knelt down on the floor. His tongue licked each breast and his hands rubbed her outer thighs. She let out a low moan. He smiled. He liked that he was making her feel this way. It turned him on.

He took his hands and spread her legs apart, he began to stroke her insides with his two fingers, and he could feel her body contracting to his fingers. He pulled them out and brought his tongue into the mix. Her hands clenched the sheets in a tight fist. "Oh my God El, you are fucking unbelievable." She moaned out in deep pleasure.

He let his tongue do all the work, licked every crevasse, sucked up every ounce of her juice. He made small circles around her inside of her and could feel her legs start to buckle. He knew she was ready, "Let go Liv." He said.

"No, I want to wait for you, I want us to come together for the first time…but you have to stop doing that." She panted out, trying to hold on with every fiber of her being.

He crawled up on top of her, "Are you sure?"

"Never been so sure in my life, please, now. I need you inside me now El." He obeyed her wishes. He kicked off his boxers and stroked her thigh. He placed his hardness inside of her. The minute he entered her he felt her shiver. He could feel the pressure built up. He began to thrust her gently, but she was to far gone for taking things slow.

"Harder El, please, faster?" she begged. He had never heard Olivia beg before; of course he had never been inside of her before either.

"Am I hurting you?" He asked licking her lips.

"Impossible." She said taking his mouth into hers.

"Jesus El!" She screamed. He began to pound into her hard and fast. He felt like he was up so far he was going to split her in two. She screamed out his name in complete ecstasy as she felt him hard and deep in her.

Hearing her scream his name was more then he could take. He was going to blow, but he wanted this to last. "Liv! Oh my God Olivia!" He screamed out and he thrust into her quicker, and quicker.

"Uhh! El…don't stop, don't ever stop!" She panted.

"I'm going to come Liv, are you ready?" He asked her.

"Never been more ready." she got out.

He moved his hips in sync with hers, it was only a matter of time, a few more times in and out, and little bit faster, a little bit deeper. They were both in ecstasy.

He pumped one final push inside her and released himself in her insides. The warm feeling of him inside her made her come immediately. She screamed out his name and her body went into convulsions underneath him.

"Jesus Christ that was amazing." He said as he collapsed onto her chest. He kissed her on the mouth and wiped the hair out of her face. They were still trying to catch their breath. She couldn't talk yet; her body had not come down yet.

She took a few deep breaths, and rubbed her hand over Elliot's hair, "That was fucking great El." She said looking down at him. He was nuzzled on her chest. He looked up at her and moved so that they were both lying on their sides staring at each other.

"I think I love you more then life Olivia…" He said as a tear ran down his face. She kissed it.

"I know what you mean El. Scary isn't it?"

"Only when I think about losing you." His mind wondered back to the time when he thought he did. Tears filled his eyes. "I'm so thankful that you came back to me. I don't know what I would have done with out you Liv. I don't know…" He said shaking his head.


End file.
